Here Comes The Wagon

The tighter the restrictions are around my feet, the further my soul yearns to travel. There was a time when I’d settle for a day out in Howth, or Bray, but I’m gone way beyond that now, I need to hug the entire Irish coastline.

Mr B’s tribe were great for caravans, not in the mending pots and pans sense, more the comfortable mobile home near the sea. In our early days, I tried to see the attraction in this kind of holiday but to tell you the truth, it’s not for me. I felt like The Gruffalo in a Sylvanian playset. Everything is very dainty, if you’re making the bed you bang your backside against the handles of the wardrobe. I feel I’d need a bottle that says ‘drink me’ like Alice in Wonderland so that I could shrink to fit the dimensions of the mobile. Mr B was baffled by this, sure by comparison to his grandparents 10 foot van it was palatial.

We’ve had other holidays over the years, however he still hankers after a camper van for our retirement. I’ve entertained this daydream and now I’ve convinced myself that it would actually be lovely to travel the length, breath and heart of the country under our own steam. So, one quiet evening recently I printed out a blank map of the 32 counties and started to make notes on where we could visit. Now, before we hit the road on this virtual tour of Ireland, can you all please use the loo and check the back door is locked.

We’ll pull out of Dublin with our worldly goods securely tied in the back and head for Co Meath, the home of the druids. We’ll have to visit Newgrange and the Hill of Tara with a lovely creamy pint in Mrs O’s pub at its foothill which you’ll recognise from the Guinness Christmas ad. A swim in Bettystown or Laytown and a picnic at Trim Castle along the banks of the Boyne.

Onwards to Louth and the medieval town of Carlingford which has a beautiful greenway along the water looking across at the Mourne Mountains. Carlingford Adventure Centre is great craic and dinner in Ghan House is a real treat.

If it’s legend, landscape and lovely photos you’re after, you’d have to call into The Giant’s Causeway in Co. Down. It would be a crime not to nip into Bushmills Inn for a cosy pint afterwards.

Antrim has lots on offer especially in Belfast; a wander around Queens University, the Titanic Museum, maybe a gig at the Waterfront. Further afield is the delightfully terrifying Carrick-a-reed rope bridge.

We’re serious Derry Girls fans, so we’d have to get a photo by the mural and do the city walls tour. I’d also like to visit the Seamus Heaney Museum and John Hume’s grave.

I’d love to see the Northern Lights from Ballyliffin in Donegal. There’s a plethora of unspoilt beaches here too.

Monaghan is Kavanagh country. The Patrick Kavanagh Centre in Inniskeen would be a good starting place before walking the bog roads of his youth.

I’ll have to be honest and tell you that I’ve never been to Tyrone, Fermanagh, Cavan or Longford, so I can’t recommend anywhere there, open to suggestions though.

I was recently chatting to someone and mentioned that Leitrim was probably the least notable county in Ireland. The air froze and then I remembered that she lived there – whoops. She set me straight on its merits and told me to check out Glencar Waterfall.

Sligo packs a punch, a swim at Rosses Point, a tour of Lissadell House, a trek up Ben Bulben and a visit to Yeats’ grave in Drumcliff.

Mayo never disappoints, Cong is stunning, Westport is like a warm hug after climbing Croagh Patrick, and cycling from Mulranny to Achill along the greenway is heavenly.

Boyle in Roscommon made our list as we’re Moone Boy fans. We’ve stayed in Lough Key House where breakfast is a whole morning affair. Then to Lough Key Forest Park, great walks and picnic spots and don’t miss Boda Borg, a team challenge quest.

In Galway you could visit the City with its Claddagh and Spanish Arch, Barna, Spiddal, Kylemore Abbey, Roundstone, Ballyconnelly and Clifden, or you could just stand in awe of the magnificent dry-stone walls that have endured through the years. If you are going to Clifden, I’d heartily recommend Blue Quay Rooms B&B, breakfast there is divine.

I’ve only once been to the Aran Islands, to Inis Mor, but instantly knew I’d be back, it’s everything you could want in terms of peace and beauty. I’ve walked out to the Wormhole but want to go bak for a summertime swim there.

Ah Clare, there’s enough treasure to spend a whole summer there. Ballyvaughan, Lahinch, Doolin, Lisdoonvarna, the Flaggy Shore. Though with my longing to see the full span of the country I’ve a grá to go to the Cliffs of Moher again. Mr B gets a bit antsy around cliffs and repeats his mantra ‘your head is the heaviest part of your body’ by way of warning us not to lean over. In fairness I’m well weighted from below the head too, so I’m sure we’d be grand!

Every summer we break the drive to Kerry by stopping in Adare in Limerick for lunch, and every year I say that I’d love to spend more time there.

I remember a banner in the crowd at a Kerry v Dublin All Ireland years ago which read ‘Dublin for the Sam Maguire, Kerry for the Holidays’. They have it all there; Dingle, Listowel, Kilorglin, Killarney, Glengarrif, Caherciveen, and we still have a firm grip on Sam!

Cork has an embarrassment of riches along its coastline; Allihies, Bantry, Schull, Union Hall, Clonakilty, Inchydoney, Kinsale, Cobh, Yoghal. Mind you, you wouldn’t want to let them know or they’d become completely insufferable.

No trip to Waterford would be complete without checking out Dungarvan and Dunmore East. In the city, blank walls have been transformed into stunning art through the Waterford Walls project.

Kilkenny is another gem I’d never tire of exploring. As well as Thomastown, Inistioge and Bennetsbridge there’s also a great walk from St Mullins in Carlow to Graiguenamanagh along the river Barrow.

As part of my researching my family tree, I’m trying to arrange a family Trip to Tipp. As a descendent I’m allowed say this, it’s a hard sell! However, I also know it’s choc-a-block with treasure, and not called the Golden Vale for nothing. The Rock of Cashel, The Swiss Cottage in Cahir, the walking trails of Upperchurch, not to mention the great pubs in the village. Cloughjordan Eco Village, The Shannonside villages of Garykennedy and Terryglass. Then sure you’d have to climb Slievenamon and sing a verse or two of the ballad.

Next to Offally where you could pop into Birr Castle for a cuppa, enjoy walks in the Slieve Bloom Mountains or gentler trails by the Grand Canal, and marvel at 9th century high crosses in Clonmacnoise.

I’d visit Westmeath just so I could stand in the centre of Ireland and recite that old school Irish teaching about directions. Ta me i lar na hEireann, ta me ag dul soir, ag teach anoir etc.

Kildare gives us St Brigid’s Well, The Japanese Gardens, and a bracing walk along The Curragh.

A few years ago, myself and my cousin brought her mother (my lovely aunt) on a trip to her homeplace of Laois, after a tour of relatives and graveyards, we had a fabulous night in Roundwood House in Mountrath. Also, since the motorway was built, I’ve missed stopping into Morrissey’s Pub in charming Abbeyleix, I’d love to take a seat on those high stools again.

Well known for its sunny climate and stunning beaches like Roslare, Wexford makes a great holiday spot. I fancy a trip to Hook Head Lighthouse as well.

Nearly home now, just time for some great walks in Wicklow, the garden of Ireland. There’s Glendalough, Powerscourt, Mount Usher Gardens and maybe afternoon tea at Hunters Hotel in Rathnew.

Let me know some of your favourite spots that I’ve left out and I’ll add them to our retirement road trip itinerary.